Trust.

This blog is supposed to be about art, both mine and others, but it also can entail some personal issues that come up in my life. 

This weekend, I experienced a massive breach of trust by a friend whom I considered to be family, a sister, & am having a lot of problems dealing with it. Until this night, I considered them to be one of the most important people in my life, someone I'd give a kidney to, if needed. But now...

It seems that for whatever reason or another, friends have fallen away from me in the last year. Either by my own ending of the friendship- because it was unhealthy, or they stopped communicating with me, now I feel the only one I can completely trust (with the exception of blood-relatives) is my partner Dane. I'm feeling very cut-off from everyone I go to school with. I understand art is a really selfish way of being (all artists are inherently selfish), but everyone is so into their own goals here that it is really, really lonely.

What happened? What do I do? When I have a friend I treat them as such, I respect them, I share what I have with them. I am a very social creature... but more and more I find myself wanting to give up. I'm tired of being hurt and my friendship thrown away.

It's beginning to be very hard to trust anyone at all.

Eye in the sky.

These are some images from some animation tests I'm working on. I must be obsessed. When I finish the animations, I hope to upload them for your viewing pleasure. These were made with photos I took. Edited in Photoshop, animated in After Effects & final editing in Final Cut Pro.

-K

Choking on art.

Every so often, I question this life I've chosen for myself. Things pile up, I get stressed out, and then I think...

"What am I doing? Have I made a mistake? Think about all of the debt my family & I are/will be in once I graduate. Why didn't I get a real job? Why couldn't I have followed a more secure, acceptable career?"

I'm at this point in the cycle again. I've been unemployed and worried. Going to school full time and save for a few inspirations, feeling the creep of burn-out breathing down my neck. I need an epiphany. A renaissance. I need a kick in the ass.

Tomorrow is someone's birthday, only they aren't here anymore. So what does this mean? What would Paul say to my overwhelming feelings of stress, anxiety, fear, doubt? I don't have an answer, but only a guess, based on the kind of person he was. He'd affirm his faith in me and my capabilities, he'd offer suggestions as to how I could be more efficient (practically and abstractly), and he'd show full support. He always did, as did/do the rest of my family. It's one thing when your family doesn't stand by you at all in your life endeavors- but it's another when they do, so much that they are willing to put themselves into debt- that is a tremendous amount of pressure on one's head.

I just want to do well, pay my & my families dues, and make a little living for myself- all while creating physical manifestations of the whirlwind that is inside my mind.

I hope I don't choke.

Demo(lition)

Plaster raking. Never heard of it. Apparently, plaster raking is a pretty old method of manufacturing things like ceiling medallions, vases, crown molding... Jeff Koons popularized it as a means of creating art.

I went to a sculpture demo last Friday where we were shown the plaster raking method- specifically how to make an urn. Our newest teacher, Fernando Mastrangelo, showed us how to build a rake (which looks like a total pain in the ass), and how to create a "perfect" piece in the round.

At the start, you have your structure (in this case, foam with some fiberglass tape, I believe)...

Start adding your cold-water plaster mix

...rotate the rake as you add/wait for the plaster to set up...

This shit gets messy.

Finally taking a smoother shape...

Looking pretty sweet.

Our demo time was up before the project was finished, but I will try to get some photos of the end product. By the time this was done, there was plaster in little mountains all over the floor and the rake- vaseline is paramount in keeping the rake from being ruined. I mean, this is insanely messy. But you can end up with near-perfect creations with a mass-produced feel.  

I am a bit turned off by the math aspect of created the rake (everything has to be perfect!), however, the the end result is so awesome and totally worth the trouble. I am interested in making many, many little globes...

Pretty damn rad.

It's nearly Halloween.

And you know what that means...

Time for that odd, bittersweet season of fading light and dying leaves. Time for creeping cold and rain. Time for me to make some shitty faux-poetry, apparently. Whatever, I'm just here to share some cool Halloween inspirations. Enjoy, assholes!

♥

Ending Credits

These are some words by my late 2nd-cousin/godfather/hero Paul Wojtaszek. He wrote this on a congrats posterboard when I graduated high school. I recently discovered this board, which was signed by many family members & friends, when I was cleaning. It had been damaged beyond repair, so I photographed the kind words and had to throw out the board.

It was sad and sweet to come across this, damaged and filthy, with words written by someone so removed from this mortal coil... as cheesy as it may seem, his writing inspires me to try my best to kick ass.

I love and miss you.

-Karla

OPETH - Ending Credits

Empty Words: Addendum

Here is a (shitty) photo of a little flowchart-type-deal detailing my train of thought regarding my recent crucifix sculpture.

Blog title = DEATH

-Karla